Bear Speaks

So I spent the night in Rochester with my hubby yesterday because he had a big job in the works and needed to stay in town to keep his eye on things. We had a fun "date night", because between job visits we had cocktails at the Elmwood Inn by the University where the job was and then dinner at a restaurant right on the lake (which I will not link to because it was so tacky it was funny, and we would not recommend it). We stayed at a Marriott Courtyard which was clean and comfy, and this morning we had breakfast at a neighborhood diner before shopping at The Garden Factory. THAT place sure is fantastic, but be prepared to spend money.

'Very pleasant little 18 hour mini-vacation - until my drive home.

Rochester is just about an hour's drive from our house, and approximately half of that drive is along the Robert Moses Parkway - a beautiful divided highway with virtually no traffic, running right along the south shore of Lake Ontario. Sadly, the deer think the parkway is a lovely place to call home, and there were numerous deer "sleeping" on the side of the road. This time of year, whitetail deer are a gorgeous red color, which is pretty much the same red that my sweet Bear was. Reddish brown, with a creamy ivory stomach. Well, losing Bear in the road is right up there as one the most traumatic experiences of my life, and each one of the sleeping deer was like a punch to my gut. The deer that caused me to lose it was a deer that was missing a leg ... like my Beary ... it was too much for me to see so I even had to pull over at one point because I was so upset.

The rest of today involved a lot of contemplation about life, and loss, and joy, and messages, and signs. My Bear was with me for less than two years, but he touched me emotionally in a way that is quite extraordinary. He also inspired me to write a book, and these last several months I have found so many reasons to avoid putting any time into actually typing any words. At all. Today was a harsh reminder that I have a job to do, and that I owe it to Bear to get it accomplished. Okay, I know that anyone reading this that has not ever had a strong connection to an animal is thinking I am nuts, but I don't care. I truly believe that Bear's raison d'etre was to be with me, to love me, to inspire me, to motivate me. As I have said before he really is my muse, and I need to get writing.

Sigh.

~ my buddy ~